Much of the angst and discontent today is, to a large extent, due to our collective disconnect from the past. The narcissistic focus on self-indulgence and personal fulfillment, and the belief that we somehow deserve better – more wealth, more comfort, greater self-actualization, etc – are products of this late modern age. It is only in the last 150-years or so that such things were even dreamed of by anyone.
The Way We Were
Prior to the advent of capitalism and democracy, humans were occupied not with finding their passion and living their best life, but in merely surviving in a hostile world. For nearly the entire span of human existence, surviving from day to day has been the primary pursuit. Modern humans have forgotten that scarcity, want, struggle and deprivation are the natural state of things. It is only through generations of ingenuity, creativity, and countless iterations of trial and error, success and failure, gain and loss, that we as a species – and citizens of western liberal democracies, in particular – have come to the current state of abundance and security which is now so commonplace that we believe it is the birthright of every human being. And, when some fail to obtain some supposed fair share, it is perceived as a great injustice and evil.
We would do well to remember that as recently as three or four generations ago, many of our grandparents and great-grandparents were raised in homes without modern plumbing: no running water, toilets, or baths. They had to collect water from nearby streams and rivers or pump it by hand from a well for every meal, to wash clothing, and for bathing. They had no electric lights or appliances, no cell phones or computers; only candle or kerosene light and wood stoves. They spent their days farming, foraging, or hunting the food they would eat each day, leaving little time for rest and relaxation.
Those who lived in cities often worked long hours in hard physical and often dangerous jobs earning just enough to get by, enjoying none of the creature comforts and pleasures that are now so common even among the poor today.
Assaulted by Modernity
I am not romanticizing the primitive past, nor do I long to return to such conditions. I merely point out that we are not so far removed from it in time, yet our world has changed so much and so fast that we mistake the present ease and affluence as a common and universal right rather than a quite unnatural condition into which we have suddenly and recently stumbled.
Much of the discontent, depression, and envy so common today seem to be products of this rapidly advancing and ever-changing modernity which outpaces our mental and emotional wiring that has evolved over millions of years. Never before have humans had so much time and access to leisure. Never before have we been able to work so little and have so much. Never before have we been so secure from threats of nature, man, and beast.
Now, we are caught up on a hamster wheel of consumerism and narcissism. We succumb to the ubiquitous marketing of products and services designed to scratch every itch and feed every desire until those itches and desires become the focus of our existence and the purpose of our being. But those things leave us empty and unfulfilled.
Step Back and Refocus
Every now and then, I become frustrated with certain aspects of life and have to remind myself that my life and my problems are not really all that bad. Trust me, I really do this. I remind myself that previous generations had a much more difficult existence and many fewer distractions, diversions, pleasures. It helps to put things in perspective – to set modern life against the backdrop of human history in order to see the contrasts and appreciate the life I have.
It also helps me refocus my priorities and desires. It’s so easy to succumb to the influences, distractions, and deceptions of modern life. Social media, marketing, the 24-hour news cycle, and continuous access to it (and it to us) through personal electronic devices continually captures our attention and shapes our thoughts, desires and priorities in ways that are often not in our or our family’s best interests. We are continually pushed to get more, more, more of virtually everything, which nurtures in us a continual sense of discontent.
But, when we stop and think about current conditions in contrast to the conditions of historical human experience, we can see that so much of what we think we need and desire today is really not so necessary. And from this we may begin to ask ourselves, what IS really necessary? What things do I truly need and want in my life? What conditions might really be conducive to joy and contentment? What is genuinely satisfying and fulfilling?
When I do this myself, I find the following priorities (among others). Yours may be different.
- Authenticity. I need to be true to myself, regardless of the thoughts and opinions of others. It took me a long time to realize this, now it’s my anchor.
- Family. This is the foundation of all human relationships and must not be sacrificed in pursuit of other things. Their well-being is top priority.
- Responsibility. Success or failure is entirely up to me. I’ve learned to care for my home, my finances, and prepare for a desirable future. No one else can or will do it for me.
Many of the influences and circumstances in modern life run counter to these and other values that are important to me, so there is a constant tension – a force and counter-force – that I live with. I propose that this has always been true. In the past, it was the tension and stress of mere survival. Today, it is the tension and stress of obtaining and maintaining a sense of peace and contentment in the midst of constant, rapid-fire change and innovation. It is the challenge of anchoring your being, values, and priorities in the turbulent sea of modernity.
It is not a rejection of modernity, but a resistance to being victimized by it. It is taking responsibility and authority for yourself and saying “No!” to people and things that would mold and shape you into what they desire rather than what you desire and need.